This is probably a bad time to be writing this blog because as of now, I am swamped with work, both as a teacher and as a student. Whoever commented on how this program needs to be more rigorous, and needs to expect more from us "top graduates" in their blog, needs to be shot in the face immediately.
Right now, I hate teaching. Some days, I like it. I never love it anymore. It gets more and more difficult every day. The monotony of it, the inadequacy I feel, and the overall sense of not being respected or appreciated, is enough to push anyone over the edge.
This week alone I have had numerous duties, and still have numerous duties to complete. Let's start with Monday. Lesson plans at school were due. I managed to BS my way through that, but I still have to plan for the next day the night before. I have "duty" this week at school which means I have to stand like a prison guard in the gym during my off times in the morning and various times throughout the day. We had another pointless meeting this morning where everyone covers their own ass for other stupid district requirements. I have tons of work for my Teacher Corps class Saturday. I am being observed Friday. I have to make my exam, begin gathering grades (mess), actually grade assessments, plan assessments, plan lessons that won't be effective nor listened to, call parents, and go to baseball practice. I think that is all. I should add stay sane, stay semi-healthy, and attempt to sleep somewhere in there as well.
For now, I think I'll do that sleep thing, and wake up at 6 feeling miserable and dreading the day ahead of me again. Until then...to be continued.
After my evaluation (which went well), and all of my various duties completed, I look back and think that this is too much work...
It's too much work to feel like garbage every day, to be mad at the end of the day, and to let this job alter my personality, demeanor, and overall mood on a daily basis. It's unfortunate that trying to do something so hard, and to be good in every sense of the word, for and to my students, is only met with apathy on a day to day, routine basis. It's sad really. That's what sums up this semester.
Well, last week I finally started coaching. We had baseball tryouts last week when a frigid cold front moved through the entire Southeast. It was rough. It was freezing. But, it was fun. It was really great seeing some of these kids outside of school. This week we started practice, Mondays and Wednesdays only, until Christmas. After that, it's on. We will be practicing every day and even on Saturdays when we don't have games. That is going to be rough, but the other coaches are really cool and will be really lenient with me as well.
It was a breath of fresh air dealing with these kids outside of the classroom setting. Although only a few of them are my actual students (most of the players are upper-class men) and I teach the bottom of the barrel (freshmen), it was still nice. They are much more respectful, and much more personal. I am only an assistant, but they still treated me like an actual leader, which was surprising. It really makes a huge difference when you see these kids doing something outside of school that they actually want to do.
I think that is most of the problem with education in the state of Mississippi: The kids simply do not want to be there, and that makes it tough as hell on any teacher...
One of my students is one the team, and he had my class today. He was acting up, I shot him the teacher look, he asked, "What, Mr. Gray?" I responded sternly, "You can call me Coach Gray from now on Jamal." That shut him up real quick!
As an alternate route teacher placed within a critical needs school, I tend to critique everything I read, hear, or research about education in a different, negative light. I always say to myself pessimistically, “That would never work in my class,” or, “My kids are not even close to being on that level,” about everything I come across while searching for some form of assistance when it comes to teaching secondary social studies. The truth of the matter is, many of my problems would, and could be solved, if only my students were at the level of mastery that they should be. Although there is no necessary need to panic, it is a constant struggle when matching and attempting to master frameworks, presenting alternative assessments, and especially, simply teaching the national geography standards that I am being paid by the state of Mississippi to at least try and do. I repeat; it is a constant struggle.
I was thrown into an under-funded, under-privileged, and lest not forget, under-managed school, after only two months of summer training and four years of under-graduate study in the field of political science. I was told two weeks before I started my full time teaching job, that I would be teaching Introduction to World Geography, to one hundred and fifty ninth graders for six hours a day, in one hundred minute blocks. The challenge was set. I only had a few days or so to set up my classroom and begin planning lessons, as I had just moved to the city where I would be teaching in, one week prior. Upon cleaning, arranging, and sorting through all of the junk left in my classroom by the previous teacher, I came across some decent, semi-helpful material including stacks upon stacks of unorganized worksheets, tests, and other various forms of assessments. By far, the most helpful piece of educational material I came across was a 1994 edition of the National Geography Standards: Geography for Life. I quickly began thumbing through the neglected book stowed in the bottom drawer of the main desk in the room, and began preparing for what at least seemed to be, one hell of an upcoming year.
The tag line alone would grab any teacher’s attention: “What Every Young American Should Know and Be Able to Do in Geography." (Geography, 3) The lack of previous knowledge, and other various levels of required basic material mastery within the field of social studies, quickly became evident with the students. Within a few weeks of teaching, any teacher could sense that this would be an enormous obstacle to overcome. To begin, even the definition of geography, as stated in the National Geography Standards, seemed overwhelming for students of this caliber. “Geography is the science of space and place on Earth’s surface. Its subject matter is the physical and human phenomena that make up the world’s environments and places. Geographers describe the changing patterns of places in words, maps, and geo-graphics, explain how these patterns come to be, and unravel their meaning.” (Geography, 1) As stated previously, this would be a feat to overcome, after only a few weeks of teaching. After all, vocabulary, reading comprehension, and other basic knowledge from previous core classes was clearly missing. The tag line was looking more and more impossible to successfully achieve as time slowly pressed on. Even still, when it comes to teaching, let alone successfully encompassing an individual component of geography, the text mentions that, “Mastering any single component of geography is not equivalent to mastering geography.” (Geography, 30)
Aside from the interrelated objectives, the National Geography Standards is quite complex compared to the state frameworks provided. Perhaps the reason being, is that Mississippi is the lowest scoring state in the union on every level of subject mastery when it comes to state testing. For example, throughout the standards for grades 9-12, and especially the section focused on places and regions, the National Geography Standards states that, “By the end of the twelfth grade, the student knows and understands: That people create regions to interpret Earth’s complexity.” (Geography, 190) It mentions earlier that regions are best demonstrated by geographers dividing the world into areas for various study (154). The text contradicts itself at times, and seems to unnecessarily add to teacher, student, and researcher confusion. The complexity is vast, and easily seen from its yearly issuance of standards for students to successfully complete.
While this book of standards could be implemented over the course of an entire elementary, middle, or high school stay, it’s contents dealing with student achievement in geography and leading students to think geographically in a broad sense, alone, would take years to implement. Much of this, of course, deals with the previous disservices received. If these competencies were completed throughout the state in the sequence put forth by the National Geography Standards, then the goals would be more realistic. Until then, idealistic seems a better fit.
Bednarz, Sarah Witham. National Geography Standards: Geography for Life. 1994.
National Geographic Research and Exploration. Washington, D.C.
One change? How about many. First of all, I don't know enough about geography, which is the subject that I am unfortunately teaching. I know more than my students do, that's for sure, but it's not exactly what I want to be teaching. By being certified in social studies, it opens up many a subject that I am "eligible" to teach. I think I would be much happier if I were teaching history or government, but that is beside the point. So, step one, become more qualified in geography. As far as improvements go, I need to do many things. I need to perfect teaching on the block schedule. It's a huge problem. I'm not very successful when it comes to time management. Some of my classes finish their assignments early, some don't finish in time, and some don't even come close to finishing at all. Some of my lessons take 30 minutes, and some take 2 hours, but as we were always told, it depends solely on classroom management, which is also different for every class. On the block schedule, my classes are all around 110 minutes. That is a long time for teenagers, and even myself, to sit still, pay attention, and stay involved in any type of lesson. I also need to get more creative. I need to involve more projects in my classroom curriculum. I need to conduct alternative assessments that are more than time fillers. Once again, all of this depends solely on classroom management. Some of my classes can handle more than others. Some of them can behave themselves better than others, and that is what all of these improvements really boil down to. I don't know if I'd go as far to say that I am the deciding factor in all of this, but I do know that a lot of it depends on my students and whether they care enough or not. I am trying to improve. Daily. I just don't know if it is really working or not...
]]>In this post, I am required to post a success story... At this point, there aren't many. It feels as if I am babysitting for 6 hours a day rather than actually teaching, but it's not like I would be any more effective as a teacher if these kids could behave themselves any better or if they would even care to begin with. That is the topic of a completely different post altogether.
I can say although, that in terms of success, I have influenced and encouraged many of my students, the bright, well-behaved ones, to apply and become qualified for APAC, Jackson's sad equivalent of advanced placement classes. Basically, it is the advanced classes where they remove all of the class clowns and weed out the inclusion students, and allow these APAC students to have an actual, challenging secondary education that will partially prepare them for college, or at least some form of higher education if they so choose.
I have written almost 5 recs for some of my students and have influenced and encouraged, as I stated earlier, around 8 more. I have some really bright students, and unfortunately, I feel that they are receiving a disservice for being in these "regular" classes, when they could be doing so much more. Unfortunately, some of the "APAC" teachers are no better than I am at teaching. Therefore, half of the problem is me. I cannot possibly keep up with my bright students when I have to accommodate my inclusion students, work one on one with several others, and deal with ridiculous discipline problems for 75% of my classroom time.
In short, school down here is a joke. I'm a zoo-keeper, not a teacher. I'm a baby-sitter not an educator. I'm simply a time filler.
For example, this week, I wrote up a teacher's daughter. My third write-up in total, for cussing, and then for cussing explicitly at me. This girl in my class was getting into it with another student, and I'm pretty sure I heard her cursing. SO, I gave her her warning. She talked back. I gave her a check which means a writing assignment. She looked directly at me and said, "I don't give a f*ck."
Marinate on that for a little while. A teacher's daughter...
So, in short, I'm still waiting on the biggest reward. Hopefully May will get here soon, because that will be the biggest success: Making it an entire year as a teacher in a Jackson Public School...
I'm not sure if there are any certain guidelines that this blog must follow, other than: Talk about your classroom management. So, that's what I'm going to do.
I really haven't had many problems. Since the beginning of school, I've only written two discipline referrals. One was for a female student that gave me constant lip, mixed with a poor attitude. I attempted to deal with her for a couple of days on my own. I contacted her mother and spoke with her on two different occasions, but on the third day, I reminded this girl to sit in her new seat, and she automatically opened her mouth and spouted off, so I sent her out before the bell even rang. She received ISS, and I really haven't had a problem with her since. Another kid, I wrote up, but nothing changed. Then, I called home, and, to say the least, things changed. I guess it depends on who you are dealing with on whether or not a parental contact is effective, or if an office referral will work better. For the girl, the parental contact did nothing. For the guy, the referral did nothing. I hate though, that you have to attempt more than one thing before any change occurs.
My biggest problem with classroom management at this moment is consistency. It's pretty laid back in my class, and at times, a little chatty. I'm ok with this, as long as my students are learning. It's hard though, to turn it on and off, when I need their attention. I think I'm going to try one of the many techniques we learned this summer. For instance, "the I raise my hand, all of you raise your hands" technique might work, but it might take forever with 30 kids working on different stuff throughout the period. I can't see the clapping technique being very effective though. I can only see it being disastrous. I can just see it now, my classroom turning into a beat boxing session, when I'm trying to get everyone silent. We'll see, and I'll update you with my progress on this.
Describe Your Favorite Student
I have many of them, but I will write on one, or maybe a few, in particular. One of them is probably the biggest pain in my ass, but overall, he is a great kid. I'll call him T in this post. T is the student that asked me if I had liquor in my thermos that I take to school every day. It's filled with coffee, but if it was filled with what he mentioned, it would probably make my day a lot easier, and a lot funnier. I'm only kidding. T also managed to ask me, in the middle of class one day, "Mr. Gray, did you get paid today?" He's also the kid that told me he was too "hood" to wear glasses after I got on to him for having to move up to the front of the room to take notes every day, although I think he does it for attention and so that he can sit by me for most of the class period. Anyway, he is a great kid. A smart kid. He talks and wastes class time entirely too much, but for some reason I always look forward to having him in class because he makes it fun and rewarding at the same time. He tells me all the time that he wants to make money like I do (I don't tell him that I don't make squat), and that he is going to ace every test that I give him. He bets me that his test grade will be a 100, and he listens to me respectfully at all times. He acts like an ass some times, but he is just being a teenager. I give him one warning per class period, but it's because I love him (in a tough love way of course). He sees and realizes that I care about him as a student, and for that I appreciate him. I have a lot of male students like this. It makes me feel as if I am, in fact, a positive MALE role model for these kids, something that they need, in my opinion, so badly in their lives. T made a 96 in my class the first term.
Best Part Of Day (IMPROVISED)
Another post that we have to choose from is "What is your favorite part of the day?" I'm going to skew this topic a little. I have many parts of the day that make me realize why I love teaching: My students in general, when they understand a concept, when they succeed, and when they remember important information, are just a few of the little perks of this job, but there are times that I want to pull out what little hair I have left as well. That leads me to my unauthorized topic change. "What is the worst part of your day?" My answer, when these kids don't know things that they should have learned 3,4, or maybe even 5 years ago. It makes me sad, angry, and helpless all at the same time to see and hear these kids say they don't know who Hitler is, where the United States is on a map, or what the word democracy means. Yes it is my job to them teach these things, but man would it be a hell of a lot easier if these kids were taught properly earlier in their lives. It's hard, and at times impossible, to stop and help the select few who don't know basic information that they should have learned in fifth grade, and keep the rest of my students engaged and on task at the same time. It all goes back to the point and fact that if the system worked, then there wouldn't be a Mississippi Teacher Corps in the first place (a slogan that we heard a thousand times in summer training). If teachers were qualified enough and motivated enough, then our state wouldn't be in this big of a bind. It is sad that I, a recent college graduate with only two months of teacher training, am a better teacher, in my opinion, than half of my co-workers at my school. I'm happy, proud, and maybe a little too confident to make that previous statement, but I believe it nonetheless, and that is what disheartens me. This public education system is a mess, this school district is a mess, and this city, overall, is a mess. It's sad, just sad...
]]>Before joining the Mississippi Teacher Corps, I always thought that I would love the notion of teaching a classroom full of bright, youthful, eager to learn students. I had a few teachers along the way that taught me many things from a completely different perspective, and encouraged me to make an impact, no matter what career path I chose. I remember one of my sixth grade teachers, Mr. Bullock. He was incredible. He taught world history, and every single day, his classroom transformed into the setting of the time period we were studying. He brought history to life, and engaged us, as students, in every lesson that he planned. Walking into his classroom was like sitting down at a movie theater for a two and a half hour screen adaptation of an ancient story etched into eternity. He brought the past to life. He humanized names in a textbook. He captured our attention from start to finish, and he encouraged us to do the same, in any and every thing that we do.
A few of my college professors had the same impact on me as well. One in particular challenged us at the end of a semester, to make a difference. I’d say that I’m taking that small bit to heart, in a big way. Dr. Neff was a history professor as well. His focus was Civil War History, and it was the most interesting, most intriguing class that I have ever had the privilege to take. He, also, brought history to life. It was almost as if he had experienced every lesson that he taught on a personal level. There was nothing about anything within the area of Civil War History that he did not know. He could rattle off dates, names, locations, and even military formations like it was nobody’s business. He was like a human encyclopedia. Now, I don’t believe that every teacher needs to be that knowledgeable in his or her subject area, but this is where I come to my point. College, that thing that I have been enrolled in for the past four years of my life, is nothing like high school in a critical needs district. This should seem obvious, but not as much as you would think.
The students within my school have so many lower level educational problems than you could ever imagine. They cannot listen, they cannot pay attention, and they cannot comprehend passages, let alone an entire chapter or section of a textbook. They are not motivated, they are not interested, and their priorities are way out of order, so it’s hard to do exactly what I want in my classroom, and what I remember doing in my old classrooms, when teaching social studies to a group of under-privileged, under grade level students in an under-funded, critical needs school. Every day is a constant struggle trying to teach what I really want to teach. It is a slow process, but it will eventually be a successful process. I’m working out the kinks in my lessons, and am I am attempting alternative assessments for my students on a daily basis. Only time will tell if I can actually be an effective teacher, but for now, I will continue trying my hardest, and hope for the best.
]]>I also read Delta Autumn a long time ago, but more recently re-read the section centered on teaching social studies in critical needs schools. Everything that it discusses has applied to my teaching job so far. It reiterated everything that we learned and discussed in summer school, but was put together in one easy to read owner’s manual, more simply put. The First Days of School was helpful, but it isn’t population centered like Delta Autumn, which makes a massive difference. The schools that we are teaching in are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum from the schools that are pictured in The First Days of School. Wong is sitting there with smiling, happy go lucky kids, and the other random teachers are lecturing to groups of eager, smiling children. This is not even close to the same scenario within critical needs schools in the state of Mississippi. Apathy is the main factor that changes everything. Situations at home change everything, but most importantly, emphasis on earlier education changes everything entirely.
What was really applicable in DA was the discussion on the overall reading comprehension ability of students in these critical needs schools. It is terrible. It is unfathomable. It is almost to the point of disgusting. Most of my students, around 75 percent or so, can not read a paragraph, and then turn right around and tell me what the main idea actually is. It was a constant struggle with the teacher corps members that wrote the book a couple of years ago, and sorry to say, but it is a constant struggle still. Reading, comprehension, context clues, and vocabulary must be emphasized early on in every child’s life, no matter what.
What I found interesting in another section of the book, was the topic of “using any means necessary” to teach social studies. Well, this is what I have been doing. We were told time and time again that students need structure, routine, and a consistent plan, on a daily basis. Unfortunately, this has not been happening in my classroom. I’ve been doing exactly what I found mentioned in DA after I re-read it for a second time. It says to teach your lesson by whatever means necessary, and believe me, I’ve been doing just that. The structure of my lesson changes on a daily basis. They have to. Some of my kids learn one way, and some of them learn a completely different way. So, no, I’m not structured, I’m not consistent, and no, I don’t have a regular routine in my classroom. I do whatever works, when it works, and that’s what makes it difficult. But hey, nobody said it was going to be easy.
]]>Somebody's got a case of the Monnnnnndayyyyyys.
Today was terrible. Not in the sense that most first year teachers experience though. I can handle my classes, so classroom management is not a problem. I can teach, so getting my students to understand the material is not a problem. I like teaching, so this job as a temporary career choice is not a problem. What I am having a problem with is all the other crap that we as teachers have to do...
I finally came to the conclusion today that, after finally realizing that my two weeks lesson plans were due, after remembering that the first nine weeks is almost up, and after sitting through another terrible session of professional development, that I officially have no clue what I am doing...
First and foremost, I hate planning. I can handle all of the other stuff, but planning is something I am not good at. I can plan individual lessons, they might not be the most stimulating lessons in the world, but I can get by. I can BS my way through an administrative requirement known as "the two week lesson plans", but I don't stick to them by any means. I can gauge my student's understanding by giving some type of assessment that I halfassly create, but who knows if it's actually working or even good enough...
Now, fast forward to the end of the first term. I have no idea what I've done, if I've done any good, and if I've even been up to par with the state frameworks. I have no idea how to plan for units, or long term goals for my students. Basically, I'm flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to what my students should learn in my class. I guess that's the whole point though huh? After all, it is my class.
Second, I'm not trained in special education. This past week we have been having professional development in various, unhelpful categories. Today, for example, was on students with multiple disabilities. I mean, come on. I can barely teach kids without disabilities. IEP's, IBP, and other plans, are flat out ridiculous in my opinion. I have enough to deal with already (planning, grading, teaching, managing) before I can even think of assimilating these kids into my individual lessons, let alone, my class entirely.
Third, I hate going home and having to do work. I cannot stand this aspect of the job. I was fine with it this summer when I first began "teaching". Now, I don't even have anything to look forward to when I leave work except for more work. I was talking with my girlfriend on the phone today and she said, "I'm ready to go home." Uhh, I'm not. Instead of going home and relaxing, I have to prepare for tomorrow. I have to decide how I can BS my way through another day...
Fourth, teachers are not paid enough money for our job. It's official. The cliche saying is true. Trust me. All this crap for $30,000. You've got to be kidding me. I was driving home today and passed a semi on I-55, and suddenly I became enraged. "I bet that truck driver makes more money than I do," I thought to myself. That's ridiculous. I can sit, by myself, and drive for hours easily. I do it all the time when commuting to and from Oxford on the weekends. Instead, I'm in charge of 150 kids, lesson plans, assessments, grades, inclusion, and other random duties just to name a few, for only $30,000. Once again, you've got to be kidding me.
As of right now, I will not be teaching for the rest of my life. Not high school at least...
So, there's my bitch session. Now, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!